I was born with a di*k in my brain, yeah fu*ked in the head
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed ’til one night he snuck in and said
We’re going out back, I want my di*k sucked in the shed
Can’t we just play with Teddy Ruxbin instead?
After I fu*k you in the butt, get some head, bust a nut, get some rest
The next day my mother said “I don’t know what the fu*k’s up with this kid!
The bastard won’t even eat nothing he’s fed
He just hung himself in the bedroom he’s dead”
“Debbie don’t let that fu*ker get you upset
Go in there, stick a fu*kin’ cigarette to his neck I bet you he’s fakin’ it,
I bet you I bet he probably just wants to see how upset you would get
I’ll go handle this of course, unless you object”
“Ah go fu*k his brains out, if any’s left in his head”
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I’ve completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He’s insane!
“Did you get him?” Naaw, fu*ker tried to bite my face off
I just got fu*kin’ chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fu*kin’ blades off
Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop
Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong
That motherfu*ker’s got nuts like King Kong
Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn
And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants, he took every fu*kin’ thing off
Everything, except his tank top and his training bra
Ain’t he raw? Yeah maniac, that’s Shady dog
Man that motherfu*ker’s gangsta, ain’t he dog
Shady dog, what be going through that fu*kin’ brain of yours
Say no more, what the fu*k you waitin’ for, sing along
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I’ve completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He’s insane!
Don’t you know what felch means? (yeah), well then tell me
Would you rather get felched or do the felching
Fu*k him in the ass, suck the cum out while you’re belching
Burp, belch, then go back for a second helping
Can you dig what I’m sayin’ man, can you smell me?
I want you to feel me like my step father felt me
Fu*k a little puppy, kick the puppy while he’s yelping “Shady what the fu*k you saying?”
I don’t know help me! What the fu*k’s happening, I think I’m fu*king melting
“Marshall I just love you boy, I care about your well being” No Dad, I said no,
I don’t need no help peeing I’m a big boy, I can do it by myself see
I only get naked when the baby sitter tells me
She showed me a movie like “Nightmare on Elm Street”
But it was X, and they called it “Pubic Hair on Chelsea”
“Well this is called ass rape, and we’re shooting the jail scene”
[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I’ve completely lost it Is he nuts? NO! He’s insane!
Prevod na srpski
Lud
Rođen sam s*eban, da, u glavu je*an
Moj očuh je rekao da sam očajan u krevetu dok se jedne noći nije ušunjao i rekao
Idemo napolje iza, hoću da mi pušiš u šupi
Zašto se ne bi umesto toga igrali sa medom?
Nakon što te budem je*ao u du*e, dobio malo oralnog, svršio, malo se odmorio
Narednog dana moja mama je rekla “Ne znam šta koji k***** nije u redu s ovim detetom!
Kopile neće ni da jede šta mu se daje.
Upravo se obesio u spavaćoj sobi, mrtav je.”
“Debi, ne daj da te taj je*ivetar uzruja
Idi tamo, zabi mu je*enu cigaretu u vrat, kladim se da se pravi,
Kladim se, kladim se da samo hoće da vidi koliko bi se uzrujala
Ja ću otići to da rešim, sem ako imaš nešto protiv”
“Ah idi razbi ga, ako je išta ostalo u toj njegovoj praznoj glavi”
[Refren]
Kad bi mogao izbrojati sve tajne u mom ormaru
Pod mojim krevetom i pod mojom slavinom
Onda bi ti bilo jasno da sam skroz odlepio. Je li on ćaknut? NE! On je lud!
“Jesi li ga sredio?” Ne, smrad je pokušao da mi otkine glavu
Samo me je je*ote oterao motornom testerom
Onda je uzeo tu motornu testeru, odgrizao je*ene oštrice
Pojeo oštrice, zabio bejzbol loptu u praćku
Onda je ciljao u svoje lice, pustio da pukne
Iskopao sebi oko, pokupio ga i igrao ping pong
Onda je igrao ping pong sa svojim jajima
Taj je*ivetar ima jaja kao King Kong
Onda je postavio kosilicu na prokleti travnjak
I legao skroz ispod nje sa tim čudom na sebi
Onda je skinuo pantalone, je*ote skinuo je sve
Sve, sem potkošulje i steznika
Zar nije sirov? Da, manijak, to je Šejdi pseto
Čoveče, taj je*ivetar je gangster, zar nije pseto
Šejdi pseto, šta prolazi kroz taj tvoj je*eni mozak
Ne reci više ni reč, šta kog k**** čekaš, pevaj i ti
[Refren]
Kad bi mogao izbrojati sve tajne u mom ormaru
Pod mojim krevetom i pod mojom slavinom
Onda bi ti bilo jasno da sam skroz odlepio. Je li on ćaknut? NE! On je lud!
Znaš li šta znači felč? (da), onda mi reci
Da li bi ga rađe primio ili radio
Je*ao ga u dupe, sisao spermu dok bljuješ
Podrigneš, bljuješ pa se se vratiš na sekundu pomažući
Možeš li da skontaš šta ti govorim, čoveče, osetiš li moj miris?
Hoću da me osetiš kao što je mene osetio moj očuh
Je*bi neko malo kučence, šutni ga dok kevće “Šejdi, šta koji k**** govoriš?”
Ne znam, pomozi mi! Šta se koji k**** događa, je*ote ja se topim
“Maršal ja te prosto obožavam mali, stalo mi je do tvoje dobrobiti” Ne tata, rekao sam ne,
Ne treba mi pomoć znam sam da piškim, ja sam veliki dečak, mogu ja to sam, vidiš
Skidam se jedino kad mi bebisiterka kaže
Pokazala mi je film kao što je “Noćna mora u ulici Elm”
Ali bio je X, i zvali su ga “Pubična dlaka u Chelsea”
“E pa ovo se zove silovanje u dupe, a mi snimamo zatvorsku scenu”
[Refren]
Kad bi mogao izbrojati sve tajne u mom ormaru
Pod mojim krevetom i pod mojom slavinom
Onda bi ti bilo jasno da sam skroz odlepio. Je li on ćaknut? NE! On je lud!